Yes my children! The time has come for me to share my new found wisdom and knowledge of … specifically for girls. So enjoy!


If you are single and find yourself at uni surrounded by couples, please oh god don’t try and pull the sleazy old man at the bar who has been checking you out all evening. ’s a common trap for all girls; you’re already feeling a little bit down about the fact that you’re out with your friends and their boyfriends are either with them and you’re a spare wheel or they have been talking about them all evening. Then you get a few drinks down you and then all comes out. “Why am I single?”, “Am I doing something wrong?”, “What have I done to deserve this, I’m going to be alone forever …” and so on. You actually forget that you have had boyfriends before and you haven’t actually entered an age deemed to be “mature enough” to settle down. So you get drunk wallowing in your self pity, trying on with nearly every cute guy thats at the bar or dancing to the latest Mark Ronson track (shudders). You may think you’re cool and trendy and stand a chance but to them you come over desperate and needy … and the creeps take advantage of this.

Remember, every year there is a new batch of students arriving and due to statistics ladies its unfortunatly you who make up the majority of people who apply for higher education. And every year creepy guys know that somewhere there will be a large group of girls sitting there looking for a so ’s easy for them to pounce on the vulnerable, kind of like a lion when he spots a nice juicy gazelle skulking along the African plains.

On the other hand you get the slutty girls who come to and seem to have inherited the male gene and way of thinking; I want to play the field while I’m young and sleep with anything that moves. This isn’t too good either!

From my experience I would aim out of the area you go to . That’s what I did and paid off well. I dated a couple of guys in my first year of that lived in the same area as me and was a total disaster! There was “Chris” whose idea of romance was a bottle of Becks and Scarface on the DVD (oh be still my beating heart!), there was “Tim” who was a policeman and took his job waaaay too seriously and as a result spoke to me like a 3 year old the whole way through our meal (I didn’t call him back!) and then there was “Peter” whose suggestion that I take him back and me and my housemate could join in with some “extra curricular” activities was as much well received as Poland must have felt when Hitler turned around one day and said “I vud like to invade yar counteray” …

Instead think outside the box. I did and paid off! I’m now with the other author on this website who is absolutly amazing and makes me very happy. So don’t get too hung up on the single thing girls, just check out the first if you want to get lucky!!!

Clubbing and nights out

As the queen of the cheap pub crawl I can pass on my wisdom to you! Firstly check if there is a Wetherspoon or Lloyds bar near you. Seriously good value for you can get a pitcher of drink (usually a cocktail so the drunkeness can commence earlier!) for around £6. Secondly, check out the student union bar which will be the cheapest place to buy drinks by far. Originally when I started the rate was £1 a pint but due to the bastard government increasing ’s prices on beers, wines and spirits is now a bit more than that now … and we don’t get any extra from the government for our maintenance loan and we don’t get paid more. Damn you bastard binge drinkers that are under 18!

Thirdly, if there is more than one in the area you are living (like Lincoln for example with Bishop Grosseteste and Lincoln ) then don’t be afraid to check out the other place’s student drinking facilities. If you are on a small campus like I am then ’s always good to get out and socialise with other people around the area and they usually have 3 or more cheap bars associated with their . So drag your chums there!

Fourthly, check out the nightclubs in the local area. Try all of them in your first year because then you can suss out which one suits your individual style more. In Lincoln you have Jaks which is mainly cheesy pop so if you like Wham and Spice Girls that’s your place! There’s Ritzy’s which plays the latest tracks in the charts with a bit of the old and then there’s Pulse which focuses more on your typical R ‘n B classics. These three clubs are all located in one building and when you pay entry you’re paying to access all three whenever you want all night long. However beware, these clubs are not primarily aimed at students (thought there are a variety of themed nights such as wet t-shirt competitions, army night etc.) and ordinary members of the public do go there so if hanging out with “older” people isn’t really your thing then that may not be the place for you.

You then have Scream which is all about your typical modern Indie/Pop/Rock tracks and is generally a good night out. However, is you’re high maintenance, like your toilets clean and your shoes in one piece at the end of the evening this will not be the place for you as gets down to the knitty gritty student partying experience.

And of course you have The Engine Shed which belongs to the of Lincoln. As is a based nightclub focuses on providing the typical student experience. You get the latest bands in there (over the past year they have had Babyshambles, The Zutons and The Hoosiers to name a few) and the odd celebrity (if you think Abi Titmuss is a celebrity that is!).

And what’s more once you have found the places that suit you out and about near your you can have a relativly cheap night out for around £20. Just make sure during your freshers fair (which you can attend no matter what year you are in at ) that you get the membership cards for these clubs and pubs. The discounts really do add up so sign up!

and work

Yeah I know, they are crap aren’t they! But we still have to do them because after all they are what help us pass our degrees in the first place. If you don’t give a damn aboutu passing your course then skip this section! Firstly make sure what the pass requirements for assessments and coursework is on your uni course. If you were an A student at GCSE and A Level doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to be getting a 1st with you’re course work. is totally different to everything that you have done before and the way of writing is completely different.

Also check out the way in which you are assessed and the scores for your . I can however tell you the different grades you get at . You have:

  • a 1st with honours (equivalent to an A*)
  • a 1st (” ” A)
  • a 2nd (” ” B)
  • a 3rd (” ” C)
  • a pass (means you’re doing ok)
  • a fail (not so good …)

Although ’s unlikely you will get the latter unless you are a genius or get so much support you can still aim for a 2nd or 3rd. Most that you get as a result of you’re course don’t care what grade you got but rather how well you can adapt to their company/business/school/hospital etc. as a result of your understanding. Also the you go to has a big influence over your potential of getting the job you want. See who is the expert institution in the field you want to study and apply!

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