God this whole being home for the summer business really does get on my tits I can tell you! Firstly you get screwed over by your previous employers, then you get a job that pays poo and then you have the general public coming in talking to you like some sort of dog shit they have just scraped off their shoes because you are a waitress. Never mind the fact that I have now nearly completed my degree (how many of them managed to get that far in their lives? Sitting in Wimpy having the same meal every day constitutes in my book as an incredibly dull and pathetically boring lived life!

The whole clicking the fingers thing really winds me up the most … you know, the whole “Garcon, we want a cup of coffee now … if thats not past your capabilities” thing. irritates the crap out of me. 70% of me is tempted to  tell them to get up and fucking make themselves sometimes and the other 30% is tempted to grin and bear for the moment and then pour the coffee into their laps. Needless to say I haven’t actually done this but I am getting scarely close and I’m generally a people pleaser. I hate to upset people, I don’t like letting people down and I try to accomodate people in anyway I can … even if they are rude bastards. But ’s got to the point where I just can’t be bothered with a lot of people anymore. I know who I like and what I like and anything that upsets or offends me then to hell with ; why should I bother putting myself out anymore when I don’t get any respect from these sort of people?! I know in the long run is my job but part of me wants to get some form of revenge when I have my degree. I could gather all the people that have pissed me off continously over my life or put me down telling me I couldn’t achieve the things I wanted in a room (quite a big one the way work is going at the moment) and shove my degree in their faces, point out that they have probably only achieved being miserable wankers or getting knocked up by the time they were 17 … and maybe drop something heavy like a piano on them all … nope. Couldn’t afford to do . Damnit!

On a brighter note I finally got my results in but I am still reeling about the whole placement score. They decided that yes, probably was a really stupid idea to give me a higher score on the placement I did worse on so rather than boosting my score up to one I deserved on the placement I worked my arse off … they took 8 points off the first placement. Wonderful. is nice to know that the £3070 I am paying for these people to assess me is being taken seriously and that they are putting my interests first. Added with the fact I can no longer appeal because they all went behind my back to change and didn’t tell me until was too late I was not a very happy person to be honest.

My work on the Burmese project paid off however. I worked my rear end off for that project, even working when I visited “Josiahb” at the weekends and the look on the tutors faces when they saw my ICT resource was great. So getting a 2:1 was great seeing as I’ve been getting 2:2s and 3rds. Everything was scored above 50 which was good which puts me firmly in the 2:2 and works out my average is now dead on 50 placing me in the 2:2s so I just need to make sure that I get at least an average of 50 next year to keep that 2:2 in place … fingers crossed. Unless Little Miss Robot off our course marks all my work for the next year seeing as I can’t work out whether she actually likes me or not. ’s the sneering; I can’t understand if she dissaproves of what I am doing or if that’s the way she looks permenantly. Or maybe I am just paranoid …

However this lark added with problems at home seems to be bcausing me a high level of stress and strain. My parents keep talking off immigrating to Canada which to be honest I don’t actually worry about too much because will be after I leave and I’m not going to go with them anyway, even though the country in which I unfortunatly live in is turning into a massive dumping ground for pikeys, people with bad manners, people with terrible body odour (not the worse but still a sense of hygiene should be a reasonable expectation of people these days, is after all the 21st century), immigrants who want to bomb us, people moaning about all the other immigrants who do actually work and for really rubbish pay aswell, the government who are massive hypocrits about everything (Gordan Brown telling us to eat our left overs and to not waste food yet he gorges himself on a 6 course lunch and 8 course dinner at the G8 summit where the main things they are discussing is food shortages … wanker) and all this crap about knife crime; can our kids actually go out at a reasonable hour without some gangland idiot who dropped out of school at 12 stabbing them for 50p?

I even came to the conclusion today that I absolutly HATE the town I have lived in all my life and don’t want to come back here after . But because everything is so ridiculously expensive I can’t afford to get a home of my own for god knows how long so looks like I’m going to have to. Oh yay, life turns out just the way you want to when you’re a child. I had all these dreams of becoming a teacher and finding someone I would fall in love with (luckily that part has already happened :D ) and then get a house somewhere where I can have my own family and a cat … and maybe a patch for me to grow some vegetables even though I have to be strategic about feeding them to my judging from his previous comments on food on this web site! But how many years and how much hard work is going to take to get there? Either way I know that I don’t enjoy living at home with my parents and sister anymore but I don’t want to stay in Lincoln at for longer than I have to and gets me down sometimes knowing that sooner or later I am going to reach a dead end and have no idea where to go from there. You never know … I could win the lottery (if I actually start playing mind you). Maybe then I could drive off into the sunsight in my eco-friendly car judging by the prices of petrol at the moment with my to our little cottage in the countryside.

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